What's good about today, and other reasons to get out of bed everyday....

I will never bring about world peace. I will not save the rain forest.

I'm not a brain surgeon and I'll never transplant an organ to save a life.

I don't have the ear of a powerful politician or world power.

I can't end world hunger.

I'm not a celebrity, and I'm not glamorous!

I'm not looked up to by millions around the world. Very few people even recognize my name.

I'll never win the Nobel prize.

I'll never save the rain forest or end global warming.

There are a lot of things that I'll never do or become.

But today I placed a dog!

It was a small, scared, bundle of flesh and bones that was dropped off in a shelter by unfeeling people that didn't care what happened to it, but yet who were responsible for it even having existence in the first place.

I found it a home.

It now has contentment and an abundance of love. A warm place to sleep and plenty to eat. A child has a warm fuzzy new friend who will give them unquestioning devotion and teach them about responsibility and love.

A wife and mother has a new spirit to nurture and care for. A husband and a father has a companion to sit at his feet at the end of a hard day of work and help him relax and enjoy life. And a sense of security, that when he is gone all day at work, that there is a protector and a guardian in his home to keep watch over his family.

No, I'm not a rocket scientist but today I saved one of God's precious creatures. Today, I made a difference!

In the photos above. Hailey (Formerly Heart) adopted.

Sabrina-adopted. Kayla-adopted All were rescued by MMR! All in loving homes.

Catch me on the flip side

I am very excited-I got a call today to be on the radio. There is a show called The Flip Side that promotes organizations that are doing good in the community and uplifting stories in and around the area. If you can catch me, I will be on the radio talking about our group and spay/neuter and why it's important. They are pre-taping me today. But tune in on Saturday morning at 10am on 1520am, WTRI.

Check us out! Thanks!!!

Harlett's brother Harley

As I mentioned in my prior post, me (and my partner Julie) offered to take Harlett (the rotty I posted about the other day) into our rescue. I have a thing for these dogs. They are gentle giants. I just love them. Anyway, she sprung it on us that she also had Harlett's brother Harley and would like us to take him too. Oh-and did I mention that she does not want them to be separated and would like them adopted together? Not the easiest request. Why oh why did I say yes? Because I love this breed and would be afraid for them to end up in the wrong hands. These are beautiful 14 month old rotty's. Gentle, friendly, and just plain wonderful. Harley is bigger than his sister weighing in at a whopping 125 lbs! I'm just not sure the woman who is surrendering them understands how difficult it is going to be for us to find a foster for BOTH and get them adopted together. But we are rescue so we will try our best. They sure are cute...Too bad they can't all live here at my house. Anyway, I said I would post more details when I had them on this guy. So....Introducing Harley.

Another Reason Why It's Important to Spay or Neuter

Rotty's needing our help

I received the following plea this weekend:

A past client of mine has a female (spayed) purebred Rotti that needs a home. Her husband is bedridden and terminal, and she doesn't have the time or energy to give the dog what she needs."Harlett" is 14 months, spayed, and about 100 pounds. She is housetrained, but her other training has been neglected, so she can be a little full of herself. She loves all people, kids, and dogs Cats are an unknown.

So we said yes, we would help.

I then received this:

I just heard that you said you have room for the 14mo rotti, Harlette. I just spoke with the owner. She wants to know if you also have room for Harlette's brother, Harley. The owner's husband's condition has gotten worse, and Judy just can't take care of everyone.

It's very sad that this woman may lose her husband, and now the 2 dogs she loves most in the world. I am praying for him and his well being. We will get these two a good home.

Here are some pictures of Harlett. She is beautiful. More on Harly when I get details. Spread the word if you know anyone that wants to adopt these beautiful dogs.

What Rescue Is, and What It Is Not

What Rescue is and What Rescue is Not

The following information may seem harsh, rude, and perhaps even ignorant. If you plan on pursuing adoption from rescue please continue to read no matter your opinion. The following things are meant as information only. These are not all truths in our rescue, but many of them DO fit, and we want you to be aware of the rescuer’s side of rescue.

We will spell this information out as plainly and distinctly as we can, so that hopefully it cannot be misunderstood or read incorrectly. You may not agree with some of the things said on this page, but please understand that these are the realities of many rescues. This is not to say that it should excuse rude or ignorant behavior, but it lets you have a behind the scenes view.

You may have encountered rescues who didn’t ever reply to your e-mail, never returned your call, never contacted you about your application, wouldn’t let you adopt a dog, wouldn’t let you foster a dog, or a rescue person who was impolite to the point of being rude. As you read the following page you will be given an insight to a rescuers day/week/month, and perhaps you will begin to see why so many rescuers are hardened, snippy, crabby people who don’t seem to be living in the same world as everyone else.

If you take offense to anything below we regret that, but if you are offended it may let you know a little more about yourself and your thoughts on rescue prior to reading it. We are not here to lecture anyone, and if you feel after reading this that you cannot for some reason adopt from our rescue, please find one that you feel you can adopt from.

When you are finished reading this you still may not agree with how some rescues handle themselves (and even many rescuers feel this way) but hopefully you will at least understand a little better WHY they are like that. Our goal is to help educate you about rescue….what it is and what it isn’t.

WE’LL START WITH THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND

RESCUE IS NOT A SERVICE FOR YOU … PERIOD . NOT FOR YOU TO FIND A DOG, OR TO GET RID OF YOUR DOG. Rescue is a service for the dogs. We care about them, the dog is who we are here to help. Helping you find the dog of your dreams is a result of that, but our main concern here is the dog and what is best for each individual dog.

RESCUE IS NOT A SHELTER THAT YOU CAN JUST STOP BY TO VISIT, PICK OUT A DOG, AND TAKE IT HOME WITH YOU WHENEVER THE MOOD STRIKES YOU. THERE IS NO PLACE TO DROP BY AND WINDOW SHOP, NO BUSINESS HOURS, AND NO TIMES WE ARE OPEN.

Rescue is a group of people that love dogs. Those people open their homes and hearts to the dogs, give them a place to live, and love them until they find a loving home. We take applications, screen them, and then have people come and visit with the dogs in our homes .. .. See …. no shelter involved. There is a volunteers’ home on the end of any phone number you are given. Please respect that.

RESCUE IS NOT DIAL A DOG, DIAL A PERSON THAT WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT MY TROUBLES, DIAL A PERSON TO UNLOAD MY DOG .. I’VE HAD IT FOR 10 YEARS AND IT SIMPLY DOESN’T MATCH THE FURNITURE ANYMORE.

Rescue is a phone number or e-mail that reaches right into the home of a volunteer who has little time to deal with the guilt you are feeling over giving up your dog or tossing them out like last nights leftovers. They have even less time to deal with you see-sawing back and forth between keeping the dog and giving it up. If you’ve taken the trouble to find a rescue and call or email, then 99% of people have their minds set on getting rid of the dog. Don’t lie to us or to yourself. Simply tell us the reason you are giving the dog up and answer the questions we ask. If we are going to help you the least you can do is help us speed up the process. Please do not think us cold or callus, but we don’t have time for every person giving up a dog to cry on our shoulders. We’ve heard all the reasons for giving up a dog before….. including;

allergies, moving, housebreaking issues, money issues, new baby, too hyper, barking, sick, injured, nasty, uncontrollable, landlord doesn’t allow, parents said no, owner died and nobody wants the dog, divorce, marriage, too many animals, doesn’t like new dog, doesn’t like old dog, chases cars, chases cats, sheds too much, too much trouble, new job, wants too much attention.To the other extreme, which includes;

it’s cross-eyed, it’s ears don’t stand up, it doesn’t match the new couch, it looks at me funny, he doesn’t like it here, and he’s told me he’s not happy.

We’re not cold hearted, we simply have too many things to do and not enough time to do them all and still listen to how sorry you think you are about getting rid of your dog. If you have done everything you could do before coming to rescue, you should not feel guilty. We understand things happen in people’s lives that make hard choices a necessity. We are not judging those who have done everything they could yet still have to give up the dog. We just want those who haven’t taken the responsibility seriously to understand that we are not here to offer emotional support to them when they’ve made a stupid decision and refuse to take responsibility for it.Rescue should be one of your last resorts. Try obedience training, try crate training, try everything you can before you make the decision to give up your dog. When you’ve done all that you can, then call us and let us know why you’re giving up the dog in the least amount of words you can. We’ll ask questions, you answer them. Quick, Simple, and Honest.

RESCUE IS NOT A PERSON SITTING AT THE COMPUTER OR PHONE ALL DAY JUST WAITING FOR YOU TO CALL OR EMAIL. WE’RE ALSO NOT RUNNING HOME DAILY HOPING WE’LL HAVE LOTS OF EMAIL AND ANSWERING MACHINE MESSAGES. WE’RE NOT RUSHING TO RETURN YOUR CALL OR EMAIL.

Rescue is a group of people who already have a life, a family, a full-time job, their own dogs, foster dogs, 50 e-mails a day looking to adopt or give up a dog, 20 phone messages a day looking to adopt or give up a dog, calls from shelters needing a rescue to take a dog who is about to be put down, not to mention applications to process, vet appointments for foster dogs…..and countless other things that rescue involves.

Of course, this does not include the volunteer eating, sleeping, and having a life, I almost forgot.

RESCUE IS NOT A WAY FOR YOU TO FIND A PUREBRED DOG FOR LITTLE OR NO MONEY Rescue is a safe haven for dogs , with people that know and understand the quirks and personality of each dog, and have the knowledge needed to handle a particular breed, it’s medical requirements, and who can access an application to be sure it would be an appropriate home for that breed.

RESCUE IS NOT A BABY-SITTING SERVICE FOR YOUR DOG, A KENNEL, OR A PLACE THAT WILL TRAIN YOUR DOG

Rescue is a place that dogs who are homeless, about to be homeless, or in a shelter, come into where they will receive the medical attention, physical attention, and behavioral attention they need. Rescue is most times the only thing standing between a dog and a lethal injection.

CAN I GET A DOG FROM YOUR RESCUE THAT IS NOT SPAYED OR NEUTERED?

Rescue is not a place where you can pick up a “girlfriend”for BUTCH or a “boyfriend” for FIFI so that you can irresponsibly mass produce puppies, sell them to homes that may very well want them for Pitbull bait, toys for the children, something for the kids to take care of, or something to neglect and then later abandon.

All rescue dogs are spayed or neutered before adoption so that no “Accidents” happen. You won’t get a dog unaltered, don’t even bother to ask. If the dog is too young to alter, it WILL be fixed when it is old enough as per the adoption contract. Not a choice. It is mandatory.

RESCUE IS NOT A PLACE THAT WILL TAKE THE MOST VICIOUS, NASTY, AGGRESSIVE DOGS AND KEEP THEM FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES, LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN THEIR OWNERS MIND WHILE THE DOG IS MISERABLE.

Rescue is a place where the nasty dogs that are not safe for anyone to own, handle or be within 5 feet of are humanely put to sleep where they will be happier, and people will be safer. If YOU don’t want to deal with your dog that bites, whom you’ve loved for 6 years, what on earth makes you think that someone else would want it biting them or their family?We do work with every dog to see if they are just frightened, or have an issue that is fixable, or if they are just nasty. Those who are scared or have an issue that is fixable we work with and allow them time to adjust and overcome their fear. Those who are nasty are put to sleep - PERIOD. Some people think a rescue that euthanizes is horrible, and that’s fine,but let us fill your house up with dogs you cannot sneeze around without getting bit and let us see you still save the lives of 200+ dogs a year.

RESCUE IS NOT A MAIL ORDER SERVICE TO FIND YOU THE DOG OF YOUR DREAMS, THE DOG THAT LOVES KIDS, CATS, EVERYONE, DOESN’T BARK TOO MUCH , IS PERFECTLY HOUSEBROKEN, IS 3 POUNDS, DOES TRICKS ON COMMAND, AND KNOWS HOW TO ACT IN EVERY SITUATION.

Rescue is the place that gets calls from shelters and owners who have a Dog in need. Sure, we may come across a dog like the one described above, but chances are it will be adopted quickly and it will be a long time before we see another one like it.

We work with each dog to make them better pets than they were when they entered rescue, but we aren’t miracle workers. Every dog has his own personality, and that is what matters. If you want a dog that fits a few certain requirements - okay, that’s realistic. But trying to find one that matches perfection is not going to happen anytime soon, and if one comes in that is perfect we have a line 5 miles long of people waiting for it…

CREDIT FOR THIS BLOG GOES TO ROTTIE RESCUE OF NY!

Nature is wonderful

I wanted to post something cheerful and positive. Nothing was really coming to my mind after the week I have had. (although my wonderful husband did send me flowers today "from the dogs" thanking me for saving them). That was super nice and thoughtful. But I did get this wonderful video that I thought really captured the innocence of animals. As I always say, they want nothing from us but love.

Check out this great video of a Moose and her babies playing.

http://www.wimp.com/babymoose/

Caesar-An old soul

When Caesar arrived off the transport the other day, I had to take a moment...literally. I called my husband in hysterics. As I said, I feel the pain of these animals sometimes. I looked at this poor dog and I could see through to his soul. The pain and suffering this animal has endured is beyond anything I could ever imagine. His face and body were covered in scars and patches of hair were missing. He looked like he had given up and had just about had enough. Sometimes I can be thick skinned about seeing the abuse. And then there are the days where I just can't believe than any human being would ever do such awful things to an animal. It doesn't register.

When I saw the look of defeat on this dog, it hurt me. I hurt knowing he was suffering, and looking at him in the state he was in reminded me of the pain he was feeling. My heart broke for him.

Despite all that he has endured, he is so gentle, so kind, so loving...Here is his brief bio...

Caesar is a 2 1/2 year old male boxer. He was found out in a rural area in Georgia protecting a litter of puppies that weren't even his. It seems that he was very badly abused by someone; You can see the scars all over his body. Despite this, he is one of the most gentle dogs I have ever come to meet. He loves people, loves to be pet and held, and really is just a sweetheart. He is very docile and is good with other dogs and cats too. You would have to meet this dog for yourself to see how amazing he is. He has touched everyone he has met (including the vet's office). Everyone is amazed at how special and loving he is.

Soooo...Caesar was neutered today and had several teeth removed. His teeth were broken and one of his Canine's was rotten. I got a call from my vet today around 5pm. He sounded upset. He said that he had never seen anything like this before. It shocked and disturbed him. While neutering this poor animal, he found BB's shot on Caesar. BB's shot on his testicles, his groin, and his back leg. Someone would have had to of held him down and literally shot him in his testicles and around them to get as close and precise as these shots were. There were several of them. Of course Dr. J removed them all and ended the pain he had probably had for a while.

How long had he been this way? How long had he suffered? Why on earth was this dog still kind to us humans? We certainly weren't deserving of his trust. And yet, he tried to curl up on my lap when I laid down on the floor with him. He kissed everyone who he came into contact with.

I have contacted my friend Debb in GA (who helped pull him thank God) to investigate this because we would like to press animal cruelty charges. I know she will do what she can to find out who did this. But the chances of finding this person are very slim.

Here are some pics of this wonderful boy and a video. More on him and his new life soon. He is being loved on and taken wonderful care of now. He will suffer no more!

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU2dC8-Wr5Y

Update on Kayla

They all arrived today-the new dogs from the south. Scared of the unknown. Not knowing they are the lucky ones...

One of the newest who I posted about the other day is Kayla. She is VERY sweet. Submissive. Scared. When she first came in, it was quite pitiful because she peed in submission when I went to pet her. She was obviously fearful of being hit. But within a few hours of being held and pet, she came out of her shell. It amazes me everyday how dogs forgive. Her pictures now show a smile coming out. More on the other new rescues later....It has been a LONG day. We had a very sad case about a boxer named Ceasar that I adore, but that is for another day and another blog. They all touch my heart in some way and leave a mark. I know it sounds cliched, but it's true. I feel like I feel their every emotion as if they are my own. Every scar. Every ounce of sadness and pain. Every sorrow. I feel them too....

http://muttsmatterrescue.webs.com/kayla.htm

New arrival coming Tues who really needs our help

So, here was the plea and photos I got the other day from Debb in SC, regarding a dog in the south that needed help.

Bad situation here folks. This dog lives at a crack house. They routinely beat her. But everyone is afraid of them. They are currently in jail. They usually release after about 3 days. A neighbor has taken her to the vet for medical care.

She found her laying in the ditch after another beating. but she can't take her home because they know her. we have to get her out of the county (possibly state)as soon as possible.please crosspost this.

The vet said she's fine just scared. She got her shots, rabies vac, hw test (negative). She has an ulcer on her eye but the vet said that was healing. No broken bones. We ARE leaving her there overnight but that is it. We can't afford more than one night. We gave her a bath there and had her dipped. She was wrapped up in fleas and ticks. We just need to get her out of the county.

Can anyone help?

Look at the photos above, how could we resist this plea?? The photos below are from the other day while she was in a temporary foster. This was after she was pulled out of the ditch. She arrives to us this Tuesday morning. I am told she is very gentle, but has a sad little soul. We hope to give her back her smile. More on her when she gets here. She has been named Kayle. With a little time and TLC, I know she can grow to be the dog she was supposed to be...happy and proud.

The Story of Courage

I first saw this story on the news, and then on Facebook. I had to reprint it and show the pictures just so you would really understand the type of human garbage we are dealing with here; The type of "person" that would do this to this poor dog. Clearly he had a will to live because he hung on..but just barely. I am told that they have caught the woman that did this, and if you can believe it-She is a vet tech!!! She turned herself in.

Story below:

Sometimes a level of human cruelty exists that is so profound one cannot conceive how such an abomination is tolerated by our judiciary system. One week ago German Shepherd Rescue of Orange County received a phone call from a concerned citizen, who chose to remain anonymous, reporting an incident of animal abuse: A three-year-old German Shepherd had been tied up on a chain to a tree in for an estimated 5 to 6 weeks without food or water.

When GSROC found the dog, he was lying depleted on the ground too weak to physically lift his own head! At 37 pounds, he was literally skin and bones. A healthy German Shepherd his age normally weighs between 75-85 pounds. He bore the vacant gaze of an animal so overtaken by the war waged upon him that the ghost of his own death had long since been beckoning. In fact, to look at him one couldn’t even be certain he was still a living dog. His was the image of a creature who had all but given up mentally and physically. However, it was a sheer force of will that allowed this dog to survive for as long as he had. And for that he was aptly named “Courage.”

The GSROC rescuer raced against the clock trying to get Courage to the emergency care at the Community Veterinary Hospital in Garden Grove. She feared he might not even make it to the hospital. Once there extensive emergency treatment was immediately enacted upon him including a thorough GI flush, blood, plasma, electrolyte and vitamin transfusions, antibiotics and fluids. Numerous tests were also conducted to determine organ functionality. This initial examination revealed that he, literally, would not have been able to survive one more day in those conditions. He’d held on as long as he could. When flushing out his intestinal tract to remove blockage found in the system, the vet learned it was full of dirt and rocks – Courage had been eating dirt and rocks to survive. Dirt and rocks.

Vet holding up Courage's head (Photo courtesy of GSROC)

To counteract the possibility that perforations may have been made to his intestines by the ingested rocks and dirt, the vet put Courage on an “AD” diet which is high in nutrients but with a consistency similar to human baby food. Small, frequent feedings are necessary to re-acclimate his body to food. If he responds favorably he will be moved onto an “ID” diet which more closely resembles regular dog food. Over the past couple of days his care givers have noticed his appetite increasing (which is good) – so much so that he even tried nibbling the blankets and bowls! Since he’s been in the 24-hour care of GSROC and the Community Veterinary Hospital he has gained five pounds.

During the day Courage remains in the ER clinic amid bounteous fluffy pillows, regular feedings and the kind strokes and surveillance of sympathetic staff. He is no longer on IVs or being fed via syringe. Come nightfall he goes home with a trained veterinary technician, who continues to feed him small meals at regular intervals. Transporting him involves placing him on a stretcher and carrying him to and fro. Since he has no remaining muscle or body fat whatsoever, were he to fall he could seriously injure himself. However, as of Tuesday this week he triumphantly took a few baby steps.

Courage one week later, 4/13/10. (Photo courtesy of GSROC)

While he is expected to survive, his recovery will be lengthy and costly. It is currently unknown the extent of permanent damage done to his system; renal or pancreatic complications remain a possibility. As a result, GSROC needs all the help it can get to weather the barrage of impending medical bills. Donations can be made to German Shepherd Rescue of Orange County through their customary donation page or their new First Giving page erected especially for Courage.

Perhaps the most astounding thing about this dog is that despite being a victim of one of the most egregious examples of human cruelty imaginable, the loving little guy still manages to be sweet and mild tempered, showering all those who come near him with friendly kisses.

Both German Shepherd Rescue of Orange County and concerned animal lovers from around the world who’ve caught wind of the story want to see the dog’s abusers prosecuted. One anonymous donor has offered a $1,000 Cash Reward for information leading to the arrest of the person or persons responsible for the heinous crime. While leads had been slight this past week, it was announced yesterday that a 26-year-old woman is under investigation by authorities. If you or someone you know has any information on who may have done this to poor Courage, you are urged to contact info@gsroc.org.

You can help increase the chances of Courage finding enough donations for his extensive medical care by posting this article to your Twitter, Facebook or MySpace page.

To learn more about him, call this number: (714) 974.7762 at German Shepherd Rescue of Orange County, a registered non-profit 501c(3) organization serving Orange County, Greater Los Angeles, San Bernardino, Riverside and more.

To See Courage’s interview with KTLA click here.

Please remember to spay/neuter, tag and microchip your companion animals.

Foster. Adopt. Donate. Recirculate. Help increase the chances of an animal's continued life.

The Pied Piper of Pekes

Just thought I'd post some cute photos from the other day, along with a great video of the pekes. These were all taken the day after Lilly came back after the adoption didn't work out.

Gloria (the VP of Peke Rescue) and I both think that Lilly is one good con artist. She just didn't want to be there, and she let us know it. She knows where she wants to be, and clearly that wasn't it. I kind of have to laugh inside when I think about it. She knew how to find her way back home. I love the video because when Brian calls her, she grunts her way to the camera. What a ham! I was sitting on the floor with all of my pekes here giving them treats. Their favorite thing to do! Ha!

Here is the adorable video: (Notice how she is always at my feet)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiwtwcTvqvU

Having the Blues

Sometimes doing rescue can get you down emotionally. It's exhausting sometimes at the end of the day. You just feel like you have nothing left to give to anyone. You've given it all to the cause. You just feel like you go into battle everyday, and you have to wear this emotional armor to be able to get through it. There is a lot of sadness. and even drama. I have to remind myself sometimes when I get angry or upset with someone or something that is said, that it isn't about me. It isn't about them. It's about the animals. THAT is what's important. Not the BS, and politics that accompany it... Just look into the eyes of a sick, lonely, or abused animal. Then you have all that you need to keep going.

We are here to save lives, and sometimes people's feeling get hurt along the way.

SO-for all those that have gotten their feelings hurt by me, I'm sorry. But remember, we all fight for the same thing, and at the end of the day the animals are what matter most.

I looked at all the caged animals in the shelter, the cast-offs of human society. I saw in their eyes love and hope, fear and dread, sadness, and betrayal. And I was angry. "God!" I said, "this is terrible! Why don't you do something." God was silent for a moment, and then spoke softly, "I have done something," was the reply. "I created you." ( Jim Willis ©1999-2004) SAVE A LIFE-it makes a difference.

Long weekend and Never a Dull Moment Here

Between Lilly's ordeal and trying to keep track of the new dogs coming in Thursday, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I am SO happy to have my girl Lilly Faith back here with me. When the right forever home comes along, I will know it. Until then, she will live here and be part of our pack. Maybe she is just a good con artist and got sick so she could come back here?...lol Either way, she is doing much better.

Here are some of our new dogs coming up from the south on Tuesday and the following Saturday. More pictures this week once they are vetted. The big one below is Bear. He is a boxer mix. They said he carries his food bowl to the table or end of the kennel when he is ready to eat. He is very sweet and is a cuddle bug.

The little one is Sabrina. She was found by my friend Debb at STICKS, sister and she took her in. Her hubby was not ready to adopt a new dog yet, so she is being re-homed. She will get adopted easily here. But I wish more people would consider older dogs. They are so wonderful and are so grateful. We don't cast aside a living creature just because it isn't young and cute anymore. Older dogs make wonderful family members.

Lilly is coming home...again

I got a call around 9pm last night from the people who "adopted" Lilly Faith. They said that she was sick. They said she was lethargic, had bloody diarrhea, and a fowl odor was coming from her. Hmmm....She was fine when I left her. And that they just didn't realize what they were getting into. (I only told them 4 times via phone and in person all her ailments) Some people just see that adorable face on a dog and think -"I want that". But they don't realize that there is alot attached to that face. A lot of work, and care, and commitment; Especially for a special needs dog like my girl.

But this goes back to my prior post from yesterday about having that gut feeling. I could feel it in my bones that something was wrong. Something just didn't feel right. And so, my girl is coming back to me. I have to say that I feel kind of guilty that I'm so happy. But I am. It wasn't her forever home. I don't think I would have cried and mourned her being gone as much as I did, had I felt that she was in the right place. I would have felt happy right? And I just never felt that. I felt worry and fear. I didn't sleep all night when she was gone. I paced.

I am grateful that they called sooner, rather than later. I'm glad that they cared enough to realize early on that she was not for them. Because if she had been the right home, then they wouldn't have given up on her so easily. They would have taken her to the doctor right away or called me right when it started and asked what to do. Instead they just said it was too much, and if something happened to her they wouldn't be able to handle it. Either way, she is coming home where she belongs.

I love you Lilly.

Tears of Joy and Sadness-Missing Lilly Faith

So-Yesterday was the day I said goodbye to Lilly, my foster dog of almost 7 months. It was almost a 2 hour drive to her new forever home. Her new family seems very nice, and I'm sure they will love her. But (and there's always a but), will they love her as much as I do?

I know it sounds selfish, but you never think anyone is going to love your dog (whether it's a foster or your own), they way you can. And so when I left her yesterday, I could barely control the tears driving home, the tears last night, and still more this morning. I am like a hysterical train wreck. It's embarrassing that I feel like a foster failure because I am sitting her sobbing as I write this. I didn't think I would feel as sad as I do. I didn't think I would mope around the house looking at all the places she used to lay and play. I guess I just didn't think I would be missing her so much. I didn't see it coming. I expected to feel so happy. I thought to myself that I would miss her, but that it would fade and I would be happy. But now I can see she has stolen my heart forever....

The photo above is from the first day she was out of the shelter and on nice fresh grass at Gloria's house before coming to mine.

I have had fosters before. But for some reason this one feels so different. She is the longest foster I have ever had. So I'm sure that is the reason for my deep sadness. But I think more than anything, is that I am feeling a HUGE hole in my heart where Lilly used to be.

Spending every day and night with her, and nursing her back to health builds a special bond. I think that having seen the awful puppymill she came from, and the awful shape she was in, made me want to hold her even closer and tell her it would all be okay. It made feel protective of her. I don't think I will ever think there is a home good enough for her. That is the problem.

She was like a new dog when she went to her new home. I wonder if she is missing me? I wonder if she feels as though I have abandoned her? Will she always remember me?

I didn't think I would be the one with all the pain. I thought she would be. But her new mom says she is doing fine. I said this in an earlier blog, and it holds true. "People often tell me that they couldn’t foster because it would be too hard. But really, the fostering part is not hard at all. It is very rewarding and fulfilling. It’s the giving up part that is hard. Would I pass up the 7 + months of joy that I’ve had with Lilly because I’m about to have 1 or 2 weeks of sadness? No way! And really, when you think about it, isn’t the best part of any relationship the “falling in love” part ? So yes, I will cry for three or four days and probably my other dogs will go off wondering where she went. But, in the big picture, Lilly will just be gone from my house and not gone from the world as she would have been had she not been saved. She will not be gone from my heart".

This whole morning I have been questioning my decision about leaving Lilly in her new home. I have conjured up all kinds of thoughts in my mind about not making the right choice. Do not get me wrong. The new parents and family are nice. But again, will they love her and care for her the way I did? I am always going to wonder and I am always going to worry. Somewhere in my mind I have this false hope that they will call me and tell me to come get her. Part of me wants them to call and say, "please take her back because it's not working out". So here I sit today, waiting for the phone to ring, missing my little girl. I am wishing her happiness in her new home, but I'm still going to have some hope in my mind that she will come back to me soon....

I love you Lilly and I always will.

Starfish Poem

I've always loved this poem, and I think it really relates to rescue. We try to save them all, but ultimately we can't. We can try, but we can only do it one dog at at time. We have to focus on the ones we can help, and remember what a difference we have made in their lives. Let's hope one day we can empty out the shelters and that all dogs have a place to call home.

Starfish poem

Once upon a time there was a wise man

who used to go to the ocean to do his

writing. He had a habit of walking on the

beach before he began his work.

One day he was walking along the shore.

As he looked down the beach, he saw a

human figure moving like a dancer. He

smiled to himself to think of someone

who would dance to the day.

So he began to walk faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he saw that it was a

young man and the young man wasn't

dancing, but instead he was reaching

down to the shore, picking up something

and very gently throwing it into the ocean.

As he got closer he called out, "Good

morning! What are you doing?"

The young man paused, looked up and replied,

"Throwing starfish in the ocean."

"I guess I should have asked, why are you throwing starfish in the ocean?"

"The sun is up and the tide is going out. And if I don't throw them in they'll die."

"But, young man, don't you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and starfish all along it. You can't possibly make a difference!"

The young man listened politely. Then bent down, picked up another starfish and threw it

into the ocean, past the breaking waves and said - "It made a difference for that one."

Author: Unknown